I feel like This Is My Boomstick is the kind of tea that Confucius drank while he was doing all that writing. Boomstick strikes the balance of meditative and action. Boomstick is the flavor of Chinese calligraphy, fireworks, and wall-building. (FACT: it’s not possible to see the Great Wall from space. How disappointing is reality?) Boomstick tastes like intellectual conversations and long travels.
The tea itself shows up in cute little rolled-up balls. When I showed them to a coworker, she said “that must be a tedious job.” I like to imagine that the workers are watching Netflix while hand-crafting, like I crochet on my couch during Handmaid’s Tale or what-have-you. It seems like a job one can do somewhat automatically after a little practice. Or, at least, I hope it is.
As the tea steeped, the balls at the top of my gravity steeper unfurled downward. The balls at the bottom puffed upward. They were like stalactites and stalagmites reaching for each other.
It’s a flavorful, robust green, but not too tart or overwhelming. I’d say this falls into the “just right” category, a quintessential straight green. Definitely worth a try, even if just to watch the unfurling. It’s a lovely moment to just enjoy in the present.
I couldn’t find any Confucius quotes about tea to wrap up this post, so we’re going to end on this:
“Meanwhile, let us have a sip of tea. The afternoon glow is brightening the bamboos, the fountains are bubbling with delight, the soughing of the pines is heard in our kettle. Let us dream of evanescence and linger in the beautiful foolishness of things.” ― Kakuzō Okakura, The Book of Tea
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: Green
Where to Buy: Geeky Teas
Description
Gunpowder tea from china is crafted from hand-rolled green tea leaves. The oxidation gives it a smoky flavor.
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!
Young Ripened Puerh from Enjoying Tea. . . .
Attention everyone: I have found a pure pu’erh (no added flavors) that I like!
Oh my gosh. I should have told you to sit down first.
You are floored. Literally. Upon the ground. Let me help you up, darling.
Here. Sit on this fainting couch I keep in my heart specifically for revelations like this.
I’ve been looking for a pu’erh without flavoring for ages that I liked. It was up there with Matcha as a final hill I needed to climb to be a proper tea person. Of course, the notion of a “proper tea person” is a bit subjective. But I associate being able to drink all of them (including pu’erh and matcha) as a sign of being a member of the intelligentsia.
This drink, my golden exemplar of a pure pu’erh, my new BAAAABY, is a rich and earthy 2-year aged tea from the Yunnan province. It turns the water a warm red-brown. It has earth notes and slight spice notes and that feeling of a very slightly musty blanket that you just yanked from storage on an unseasonably chilly night.
The slight note of mustiness maybe sounds displeasing, depending on how you are. But I grew up in a household where the basement was a key player. We didn’t have air conditioning, so we slept down there all the time. The whole family. Everything smelled slightly musty, even with the dehumidifier going full-throttle, full-time.
The basement was by far my favorite place. As my brother and I aged, my parents had about half of it renovated, with carpet, and our family’s first computer (!), and a large (for the time) TV and VCR. We could watch the 1960s Batman movie again and again without bothering our parents at all. Nickelodeon. Slumber parties. Endless chips. Visiting friends. Getting that basement partially renovated was probably the best investment my parents ever made in the family’s collective mental health.
This tea takes me back there. It also moves me forward to a new world of opportunities for tea, self-growth, and — of course — pretending to be a member of the intelligentsia.
Look out, matcha. I’m coming for you.
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: Puerh
Where to Buy: Enjoying Tea
Description
This ripen Puerh Tea is from Yunnan provenience in China. Quality Yunnan tea leaves and buds are selected for post fermentation that allows the tea to fully ripen. The ripen tea are allowed to age for around 2 years. Doctors in Kunming reported that drinking this tea helps to lower cholesterol levels in the blood stream and helps digestion. The Puerh with dark and reddish black leaves makes a heavy thick tea with strong earthy aroma. It is very popular in the Cantonese Tea House and normally consume with Dim Sum. This tea is commonly mixed with chrysanthemum flower to create a Chinese Restaurant Tea.
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!
The Skinny from DAVIDs Tea. . . .
If you like a mildly spicy sheng flavor, and would like to drop a few pounds, I have just the thing for you: “The Skinny” by David’s Tea.
Actually, I can’t promise the weight loss thing. That’s a combination of diet, exercise, metabolism, and genetics.
But this tea is literally called “The Skinny,” so it’s more or less a claim they’re making. The description for this tea says: “Looking for the next big beauty secret or weight loss trend? Let us give you a hint: try water.”
I know the water thing is sound. It’s basically the first thing every weight loss article ever written says. However, you can pry the Diet Coke from my cold, dead hands.
In between Diet Cokes, I will, however, partake in water or tea (which is basically water with some stuff mixed in). This afternoon was this tea. It’s recommended to take this tea “after a heavy meal” to “block fat absorption.”
So I took it post-lunch, which was a giant shawarma pita from the nice people at Pita Cabana, which is running a Ramadan Special. (The key to Ramadan, for those not in the know, is not eating during sunlight hours. Running a food special during Ramadan must be brutal for the Muslim people who are serving a lunch they can’t eat.)
Speaking of shawarma… did you know?
I needed to pair the tea with this lunch because there was a LOT OF CHEESE on that pita. I wonder if the tea will really block fat absorption. We’ll have to see what my weekly weigh-in says next Wednesday morning.
In the meantime, though, regardless of whether this makes me “skinny,” it was a pretty good sip. Give it a whirl!
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: Oolong/Puerh
Where to Buy: DAVIDs Tea
Description
With pu’erh, ginger, eleuthero and oolong, it’s the ultimate digestive aid.
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!
Assam Tea from Taylors of Harrogate and the Brands of Britain. . . .
I’m a little groggy from a night of nightmares in which my husband WOULDN’T STOP TALKING DURING TV. Not just any program: a reboot of my favorite childhood TV show (Space Cases). I kept whining “YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEEEEEEEEEEEEANS TO ME. STAAAAHHHHP.”
I need to stop drinking.
So here I sit, hoping that this assam tea will wake me up.
The bag says it’s “strong and malty black tea,” but what I’m mostly picking up here is an English Breakfast kind of flavor. It’s a little bit astringent and raisin-y. It’s pretty good tea, in an English Breakfast tea. As an Assam, it’s not fillin’ the bill.
Am I being pranked?
I feel like Ashton Kutcher is going to pop up and say “YOU’VE BEEN PUNKED! THIS IS ACTUALLY ENGLISH BREAKFAST THAT WE PUT IN AN ASSAM BAG! PUUUUUUUUUUUNKED!”
Oh, Ashton. You SCAMP.
I was thinking about Ashton Kutcher/Steve Jobs this morning, actually. (I can’t quite remember what Steve Jobs looked like, so Ashton tends to fill it in.)
Bagged tea is the iPhone.
Follow me on this.
Did you know that there was a time when I had a flip cell phone AND an iPod? I had to carry them both around in college. It was a hellish and inconvenient time.
Bagged tea is the one-step solution to tea. It’s CONVENIENT. Like checking movie times literally anywhere. Or listening to music and having it gracefully fade down when someone calls. Or looking in the face of someone on the other end of the country.
Loose leaf tends to have flavor on its side, but there are times when I can’t bear to portion it out, fill the steeper, wait, push the button, clean the steeper, etc.
If getting tea-punk’d every once in a while is the price I have to pay for ease on mornings like today, I’ll pay it. Just like my outrageous phone bill.
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: Black
Where to Buy: Brands of Britian
Description
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!
Strawberry Shortcake from The NecessiTeas. . . .
This tea isn’t so much strawberry shortcake the food, but Strawberry Shortcake the character. It is so cute. It’s sweet and tiny and a little bit of strawberry for flavor/excitement. There’s a green base to this, yes, but it’s subtle, in the background. Because green’s good for you, it adds to the wholesome vibe of this tea.
It’s a GREAT intro-tea. I’d hook a n00b up with this any time to give them an idea of what’s possible in teas besides earl grey or chamomile.
This is a tea you totally could give a kid. Maybe not right next to bedtime (White tea has a little caffeine), but in the afternoon. Maybe ice it. Maybe put in a splash of vanilla soy milk to brighten it up a little more.
I don’t really want kids, but I think I would make a great grandma. If I could somehow skip straight over the kids-of-my-own thing, that’d be great.
I could teach a kid to crochet, to appreciate libraries, and to appreciate tea. I’d start them off with straightforward, sweet little numbers like this, and gradually ease them into the scene as they got older.
Every year, as I ticked my way into a creaky, pleasant old age, I would receive teas-and-yarn kits from my grandkids. Great little companies like the NecessiTeas would, of course, still be around. The NecessiTeas’ Robot Delivery Service 3000 would bring fresh tea to my doorstep with notes from my grandkids about how much they love me. They’re having a great time at the Mars Colony and will use Facetime Hologram with me when they get back to Earth.
What fun the future will be.
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: White
Where to Buy: The NecessiTeas
Description
Angel food cake perfectly combines with a light layer of sweet cream and juicy strawberries to create this guilt-free dessert. Enjoy hot or poured over ice.
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!