I got this tea on sale at TJ Maxx, of all places, because I couldn’t resist its tagline: “Uncle Grey: The smoother cousin of the pretentious Earl.”
I’m just imagining Earl, at Thanksgiving, talking about making partner at his law firm. Then in breezes Uncle Grey, who wants to talk about windsurfing off Thailand. Everyone wants to hear about that instead, OBVIOUSLY. Sorry, Earl. You old stuffbucket, you.
In addition to bergamot, the Uncle throws some apple, pineapple, and vanilla in there. Let me tell you, this blend is a sweetheart. It definitely slides in there and woos you with those sweet words. It smells great, like a man who knows how to wear just a little bit of cologne instead of dousing himself in it. If this were a suit, it’d be a perfectly fitted slim-fit suit on a guy who looks like a professional swimmer. If it were a rap musician, its nickname would be “Mr Steal Your Girl.”
Watch out, Earl. The Uncle is on his way into town, and he’s going to make you look frumpy.
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: Black
Where to Buy: Tea Squared
Description
The smoother cousin of the pretentious Earl. High grown Ceylon black tea, infused with the oil of bergamot and finished with a hint of vanilla. This creamy delightful tea is one of our best sellers.
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!
Sweet Ghost from Malfoy Tea Emporium . . .
This morning’s tea is a dessert option called Sweet Ghost. The Emporium describes it as “a decadent loose leaf tea blend that is crafted from black tea, natural gingerbread flavor, natural vanilla flavor, natural creme flavor, ginger root, orange peels, cinnamon bark and chocolate chips.”
It’s basically chocolate cream with slight chai spices. It’s a very strong, saturated flavor.
The only thing that bothers me is that it’s called “Sweet Ghost.” Like… why? I could see a delicately-flavored tea as being ephereal. Maybe a white tea.
Also, when was the last time a sweet ghost was featured in a movie? ALMOST NEVER. Ghosts are usually haunting people, screaming with their eyes pure white, crawling out of floors, moaning, flailing — causing an unpleasant ruckus, basically. They’re impolite. They’re horrible houseguests.
Rename the tea something nice, guys! Maybe something Harry Potter themed. There are tons of options! Here are a few freebies: Hogwarts Express Fuel. Hagrid’s Third Dessert of the Night. Mrs Weasley’s Evening Crochet Me-Time.
You’re welcome.
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: Black Tea
Where to Buy: Malfoy Tea Emporium
Description
This tea is no longer available but click below for teas that are.
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!
White Chocolate Tiramisu from Fava Tea. . .
I accidentally left this in the steeper far too long — which you aren’t supposed to do with green — but it’s still really tasty, so that’s a sublimely positive thing for us scatterbrained tea enthusiasts.
This tea tastes like white chocolate, nuts, and caramel. It’s supposed to taste like Tiramisu, but I’m not sure I’m getting that. Tiramisu, to me, mostly has coffee notes. That said, who cares, a tasty tea is a tasty tea. This is SO creamy and delicious and sweet. It’s a slick mouth-feel (ew, the phrase “mouth-feel” is horrible) that really coats the inside of the mouth.
I feel like I’m in a French patisserie with this tea. Everything is Marie Antoinette pastel. I have a tiny purebred dog upon my lap. My pinky is up. I’m with all of my friends. We’re wearing blush and having a scintillating conversation that focuses on fine arts and gossip.
We might enjoy ourselves so much that we oversteep the tea. But that’s okay. This tea doesn’t mind.
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: Black/Green
Where to Buy: Fava Tea
Description
This is a green and black tea blend with almonds, coconut, and cocoa pieces. If you like the darker, creamy, savory teas, this is one for you! A popular dessert tea. Blends well with rock sugar. Try Vanilla Rocks, Chocolate Cream Rocks, or Strawberry Rocks, for starters!
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!
Wildberry Black Tea from Simpson and Vail . . . .
BERRIES BERRIES BERRIES. Berries near! Berries far! Berries drank from a jar!
Berries sipped in a car!
Berries berries on your tongue; berries are for everyone!
This berry blend is so berry-licious that I had to slip into a rhyme trance. I’m back now, though, to let you know that wow, this is a lot of berries.
It’s a blend of wildberries, blackberries, and raspberries. They ooze into one thick (slightly NyQuil-like) mix.
Iced, the berries are more sweet and less medicinal, but they’re still pretty strong.
I definitely prefer this iced. It’s got a lot of a perky kick that works better cold than hot. If you’re a berry fanatic, you’ll love this BERRY MUCH. But if you’re on the fence, this might be a little much.
You need to reach in your heart. To thine own self be true. Berries here, berries there, berries are everywhere! Berries are pals I love the most! Berries have taken over this post!
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: Black
Where to Buy: Simpson and Vail
Description
This outstanding berry blend is a combination of strawberry, blueberry and blackberry flavors. It brews to a deep amber cup with a fresh picked berry aroma and a taste that explodes on your taste buds. Delicious hot or iced, it’s the perfect cup for a relaxing summer day!
Ingredients: black teas, wildberry flavor, blackberry leaves, raspberry pieces, and malva (mallow) blossoms.
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!
Bonita Peach Rooibos Herbal Tea from The Spice & Tea Exchange. . . .
I bought this tea because it allegedly contained strawberry flavoring in addition to peach. Strawberry peach? OH MY GAWD RIGHT? Unfortunately, I can’t really taste strawberry. The peach flavor is Batman, with orange/citrus notes as Robin.* The strawberry is, I guess, Alfred, back at the mansion? Poor Alfred never goes anywhere.
* (Robin is not as large or important as Batman, but still factors in the plot.)
Despite strawberry’s mysterious absence, I still tend to reach for this as an iced choice on days I’m trying to avoid soda/caffeine. It’s very sweet. The peach/orange, as previously mentioned, are the main players. The green rooibos adds a light, woodsy, sweet background. There’s something slightly astringent about the mix, but I don’t mind that.
There’s nothing about this blend that I’d clamor for you to try. I probably won’t re-buy it. However, it’s a solid, dependable workhorse for decaf iced tea, and I appreciate its presence in my cupboard.
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: Rooibos/Herbal
Where to Buy: The Spice & Tea Exchange
Description
Green rooibos redbush plant is flavored with summer fruits and flowers, to produce a refreshing caffeine-free blend. Delicious served either hot or iced.
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!