-Please be warned: There is profanity in this review. Thanks!-
The tea brand Modest Mix is not for the delicate of spirit. Their company’s tagline is “We’re f*cking awesome.” Their teas are named things like “Wake the F*ck Up,” “Sorry To Hear You’re Such A P*ssy,” “Dumbass,” and, my favorite: “Lemon and Mint Just Banged In Your Mouth.”
The censorship stars are just there for your delicate eyes. They aren’t on Modest Mix’s site. I’m going to stop using them shortly, because they’re a hassle to type, so if you need to, go find some pearls to clutch. Because we’re going in.
Modest Mix’s About Us site portion says “Yes, we swear a lot. Yes, we’re sorta rude. But that doesn’t take anything away from our love of tea.”
Did they just describe my entire personality? Yes. Yes they did.
I picked this tea first out of my samples box it was hilarious and I was tired. I’m less tired now. You know why? Because this tea is, true to its name, waking me the fuck up. The specific description for this tea is “Get your sexy ass energized, cause you’re a fucking winner. GO
FUCKING WIN! High fucking five.” Yeah. I’m starting to get there. My day is beginning to accelerate.
This tea is a deep, rich Assam/English Breakfast with some root flavoring and spices. If Notorious B.I.G. were a tea, he’d be this one. It’s low and big and rich and smooth. This tea works on a deeper, behind-the-scenes level. It’s not a sugar rush. It’s like when you’re listening to a rap song you’ve heard a million times and realize that one of the rhymes is clever on another level you hadn’t noticed before. There’s more to this tea, underneath.
If you do decide you’d like to try this tea, here are the instructions: 1. SHAKE BAG TO MIX SHIT UP. 2. BOIL WATER. (If you have to get all specific, heat to 208 °F – 212 °F) 3. USE 1 SCOOP (3G) TEA PER 6 OZ WATER. 4. STEEP FOR 3-8 MINUTES IN A MUSLIN TEA BAG (PROVIDED), OR USE A FRENCH PRESS (which is the best in our un-humble opinion). 5. DRINK. 6. WAKE THE
FUCK UP. Delicious!
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: Black Tea
Where to Buy: ModestMix
This tea doesn’t appear to be on the site anymore but click below to see which ones are.
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!
First I have to say that this tea company cracks me up but then again I tend to have a twisted sense of humor! Pootea Tang Tea from Modest Mix is the first of what I hope is MANY of their teas I will sip on!
As an individual my language can be quite colorful so I appreciate the badassery behind the product descriptions, however, since this site wants to remain PG-13 some of what we put here on the site may be altered a tad.
Pootea Tang Tea from Modest Mix makes me laugh, smile, and enjoy this tea and various memories that go along with it! I immediately ‘got the reference’ to the 2001 Movie that was so bad it was funny!
Pootea Tang Tea from Modest Mix ingredients include: Assam Black Tea, Rooibos, Cacao Nibs, Orange Peel, and Rosehips. I want to take this time to point out what is so special about some of these ingredients. The Cacao Nibs are among the most strong tasting I have had in any tea! Impressive! The Orange Peels are OUTSTANDING as well…they plump up to large chunks of citrusy goodness once infused! The Rosehips are a nice addition but sit in the background and I’m totally ok with that. The Rooibos gives the overall taste an added sweetness that works out well. The Assam is damn good, too!
Yes…the aroma of Pootea Tang Tea from Modest Mix is what smacks you in the face right away but the taste follows suit! If you grew up on dark chocolate and/or Orange Chocolate, specifically you MUST try this tea!
As for the second infusion – it’s still good! It’s not as powerful but you can get a very decent second infusion out of this Pootea Tang Tea from Modest Mix. Two thumbs up from me on this one!
What to learn more about this tea?
Leaf Type: Black/Rooibos Blend
Where to Buy: Modest Mix
You **cking love chocolate don’t you? How about some added orange for that tangy zest that your badass body craves? You’re welcome.
Learn even more about this tea here.