Milky Oolong from Harney & Sons. . . .

When I drank this for the first time last week, my first thought was “TEA BAE!” Which is so millennial of me, I know. I promise I’m not even cool enough to quite know how to use “bae” (“before anyone else”) in everyday use. But it applies to this tea.

This is a silky, rich, creamy oolong. It comes in super-cute little balls that totally snap to attention in hot water. Sometimes the balls don’t unfurl, but these are actively watch-able. The flavor is a great halfway point between green and black. The “milky” taste is really creamy, like the whipped topping on a good lemon meringue* pie.

*I was pretty sure it wasn’t spelled “mirang,” so I had to request Google’s gentle corrective guidance.

This tastes like it was flavored. That’s how sweet it is. I don’t want to be too effusive, because I try to emit a cool air of sophisticated irony (hah!) — but I really like this.

The reviewers on the Harney site like it, too. So much. Peep this review from Helen W: “Absolutely love it! Absolutely love it!” That’s the entire view. Helen. Gurl. I hear you. When I re-order this (AND I WILL), I’m going to acquire a vat. I’m going to swim in this vat like Scrooge McDuck. It will not be sanitary. People will slowly stop visiting my house. I will acquire leper status. Eventually someone will come by my house to film “Hoarding: Buried Alive: Tea Special” and I will acquire a brief Internet fame. Perhaps I will become a meme. But then I will be forgotten to the sands of time. The pan will no longer have a flash. I shall disappear into the back of your mind, just me, and my tea.


Here’s the scoop!

Leaf Type:  Oolong
Where to Buy:  Harney & Sons
Description

For some time we’ve had requests for a milky oolong and finally we have found one that we liked so that we could share it with you.  Milky oolongs are very popular in Eastern Asia for their sweet, creamy flavors.  This one is smooth and the aroma of warmed cream is delicious!

Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!

Wild Hunan Gold from Harney & Sons. . . . .

ATTENTION TEA-PLE! I CAN FINALLY DRINK TEA AGAIN!

I had mouth surgery last week, and hot drinks totally irritated the Spot In Question. It was GRUELING. I was living off protein shakes. I had to cut up my few solids into into tiny, tiny pieces, including stuff like pizza and grapes. I felt like I had a picky toddler, except it was me. A WEEPY, FUSSY, 5’7″ TODDLER who could only eat things at room temperature or colder.

So today I picked a nice new straight tea that allegedly has “strong cocoa flavors.” I was like “FREE OF CALORIE CHOCOLATES? MY LIFE IS A SPARKLE HEAVEN. I WILL KISS IT WITH MY HEALED MOUTH.”

Bad news: The tea doesn’t really taste like cocoa.

Good news: It tastes like bread. The kind of bread an actual person makes, not the kind that comes from the grocery store. The kind that sometimes has holes in it and is a mid-to-dark brown. French countryside bread.

This is the kind of bread that the French peasants protested over.

And Marie Antoinette was like “let them eat cake.”

And the French were all, “no seriously, we have the bread thing down. Bread is the thing we want. We asked for that specifically. If we cannot cut this bread, we will use our slicing tools for more nefarious purposes.”

So it’s yummy! But not in the way Harney’s description says. Prepare yourself in other ways.


Here’s the scoop!

Leaf Type:  Black
Where to Buy:  Harney & Sons
Description
On our 2017 trip to Hunan province, we drove to Guzhang. At a lovely estate we tasted this tea made from wild tea plants.  We loved its strong cocoa flavors.  The next day we went and toured those plants high on a hill, and now have brought them back to share with you! 

Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!

Earl Grey Supreme from Harney & Sons. . . .

I have a friend who is always talking about how I have not truly lived until I have tried Harney & Sons’ Earl Grey Supreme. She will lock eyes with me and tell me I need to go to an Au Bon Pain (or whatever) and get a cup.

She is slightly terrifying.

I grabbed a few-ounce sample while I was on vacation, but lost it. I didn’t tell her this, because I feared repercussions. Luckily, I found it, and today is the day.

This is a very powerful, no-holds-barred bergamot-slam with a smoky underbase.

This is a MANLY sort of Earl Grey.

This is an Earl Grey that strips down to just a pair of suede pants and wrangles animals. Then goes back to his castle and eats boar for dinner and winks at the maids. He sleeps like a log, then wakes up, gets kicked back into gear with this blend, and goes back outside to get some more stuff done.

This Earl Grey does not do his own accounting. This Earl Grey is sort of frustrating to his wife.

This tea will put hair on your chest, whether you want it or not.

I like it, but it’s not for the weak of heart, or the person who doesn’t want to take an express train to Flavor Town. There are probably people who would find it overwhelming.

But if you DO find it overwhelming, for the LOVE OF HEAVEN, don’t tell my friend that. I fear what she would do.


Here’s the scoop!

Leaf Type:  Black
Where to Buy:  Harney & Sons
Description

For the connoisseur we offer Earl Grey Supreme, which uses a higher grade of teas with the addition of Silver Tips. Most of our customers never go back to our regular Earl Grey once they taste the Supreme. If you love bergamot and fine tea, this is the blend for you!

Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!