ATTENTION TEA-PLE! I CAN FINALLY DRINK TEA AGAIN!
I had mouth surgery last week, and hot drinks totally irritated the Spot In Question. It was GRUELING. I was living off protein shakes. I had to cut up my few solids into into tiny, tiny pieces, including stuff like pizza and grapes. I felt like I had a picky toddler, except it was me. A WEEPY, FUSSY, 5’7″ TODDLER who could only eat things at room temperature or colder.
So today I picked a nice new straight tea that allegedly has “strong cocoa flavors.” I was like “FREE OF CALORIE CHOCOLATES? MY LIFE IS A SPARKLE HEAVEN. I WILL KISS IT WITH MY HEALED MOUTH.”
Bad news: The tea doesn’t really taste like cocoa.
Good news: It tastes like bread. The kind of bread an actual person makes, not the kind that comes from the grocery store. The kind that sometimes has holes in it and is a mid-to-dark brown. French countryside bread.
This is the kind of bread that the French peasants protested over.
And Marie Antoinette was like “let them eat cake.”
And the French were all, “no seriously, we have the bread thing down. Bread is the thing we want. We asked for that specifically. If we cannot cut this bread, we will use our slicing tools for more nefarious purposes.”
So it’s yummy! But not in the way Harney’s description says. Prepare yourself in other ways.