When Nichole (Cuppageek) described this tea as “something to behold” in her round-up review of favorites , I knew I had to get on board.
Therefore, when I found this in my packet of samples, I got right on it!
This tea has a rich mineral leather/earth taste. It’s a far cry from my usual sweet teas; this is more of a dudely beef jerky/UFC fighter type of vibe. I daresay it’s MEATY.
In fact, the very first thing I thought upon sipping this was “the manly side of the gym.”
(Sure, you can feel free to say “everyone uses all parts of the gym!” … But when you saw the phrase “the manly side of the gym” you knew EXACTLY what I meant.)
The side with the weights. And the benches. And the anguished grunting. And the veins that are on top of the muscles instead of inside them. (How does that even happen? Do they get, like, evicted from the inside because there’s just too much bro-meat in there?)
The other side is the girls on the cardio machines gallivanting around like gazelles with their ombré ponytails swinging in tandem.
I go to a “no judgement! no critics!” gym (you know the chain). Despite its “everyone is welcome!” attitude, the dude-side is still intimidating.
I crept over to the weights area just this morning, in fact. I lifted some wimpy dumbbells a few times, trying to give the behemoth redhead behind me full access to the mirror to check on his form. I then whisked away, giving all of the powerhouses around me wide berth.
My goals aren’t huge. I just want to be able to carry all the groceries up the stairs in one trip instead of two. I would rather DIE than go back for another load. If I can just beef up enough to consolidate that trip, I’d be good.
(I’d also like to be able to ascend hills without shrieking about my impending death — but one thing at a time.)
If you, like me, are intimidated by the Dude Side of the Gym, try this tea. See how you feel about it. If you like it, you can dip your toe into manliness in real life. I recommend starting with the five-pounders and working your way up.
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: Oolong
Where to Buy: Wendigo Tea
All arise for I am King Dragon, an ancient and illustrious oolong tea. I smell of exquisite honey, leather, orchids, and wet stone. My taste is of ripe peaches, earth, and smoke with a smooth lingering sweetness.